Does anybody still use these? Seriously..

Boyfriends blow.
Who needs 'em?
All they do is screw you over.
Im never dating anybody officially again until I find the person I plan on marrying I swear.
Because if its not official, then its not a big deal.
Cant hurt you.
Oh I'll probably go back on that at some point in time Im sure.
I seriously just want a good, steady guy thats exactly what I need him to be, no more, no less.
In other news...the new house is great, I love it here.
Im having issues with finding good work, but I'll get there, I know it.
Um...I love my friends!
Yea...thats about it....

Upon realizing that I have been miserable about the same situation since May, I thought I would try and fix it. Get over myself.
Boy, that was a great idea!
Turns out, I got screwed around on. Again.
On top of that, my car still hasn't been fixed.
I want it back.
I feel like crap all the time now.
Cross country is over for me. I screwed up my last race. Because I'm a puss and cant stand a little bit of pain. It felt like I ripped my calves out of my legs. It just pisses me off.
My grades are so bad, and I don't even care.
I have no desire to be in school. I hate it. Everyone either hates me openly or just talks crap behind my back it seems. What did I ever do? Its not like I'm mean and rude to people, I just don't deserve to be happy I guess.
I'm not going to Texas anymore. Stupid idea in the first place. The reason I would go doesn't even deem me important enough to talk to me anymore. 
I'm so tired of how I was used for so long, and then I try to make things better for myself and see someone new. I got used/cheated on again. Hows that for frickin good luck?

I want my junior year back.
I hate being a senior. I hate it so much. Maybe its not even being a senior, I just hate how everything is going this year.
I want to go to sleep and never wake up. Unless this is all a horrid nightmare, then I wish someone would wake me up and tell me its not real.
Screw whoever said "Its better to have loved and lost then never loved at all."
Obviously, they never loved anybody and got screwed over.
I cant believe I wasted all that time putting together what I thought would be a good going away gift, and he didn't even say thankyou.
Then tells me to promise to email and i.m. and he never bothers to email or i.m. or call back. Its not fair that I cant let go of someone that doesn't care to treat me better than the pile of crap he left at home.
Whats going to happen if he comes home? How am I supposed to act?
I cant see him the way I saw him. I know I'm going to hate him. And its going to hurt worse than him being away. HAVING to hate him because thats the only thing I can do.
When he said "we might be able to start over if I come back" I believed it. Because I trusted him even after he had hurt me so much. Trust is a stupid thing, you trust someone, you get hurt.
Screw trusting people. If you're name isn't one of the two or three people who haven't hurt me, then I don't trust you. I'm done being hurt.
I am exhausted, too much has happened and I cant control my thoughts or actions right now.
I really don't want to wake up.